a welcomed change. a created change.
i have only felt this once before. 16.
so alone.
with a heavy chest and burdens to carry,
i feel the pressure even as i lay to sleep.
tomorrow will be worse,
but as the days go on things will get better.
i just dont want to wait though.
i cant.
23. and im still afraid to start life…
a prophecy, strongly held belief, or a delusion, declared as truth when it is actually false may sufficiently influence people, either through fear or logical confusion, so that their reactions ultimately fulfill the once-false belief.
thinking of you wherever you are.
we pray for our sorrows to end,
and hope that our hearts will blend.
now i will step forward to realize this wish.
and who knows:
starting a new journey may not be so hard
or maybe it has already begun.
there are many worlds,
but they share the same sky -
one sky,
one destiny.
remember the days you spent knowing that no girl would ever come your way, no “hot piece of ass.” and then when you finally get one of these skinny little sheltered whores, coveted pieces of tail that have been built up as the grand trophy in your nothing-life, you try desperately to keep it. not to protect it, but to hoard it. to keep it away from the other wolves and jackals circling your territory. and you realize, all too soon, that you’re not good enough. that maybe there was some son of a bitch called darwin after all, and that you never acknowledged his existence because you knew deep inside that you were really what you feared you were; weak and passive and ultimately broken by the ones that were made the fittest. and that through your weaknesses you built up a poison, that poisoned others around you. people that you love. and the only true justice was to let those dominate jackals feed on you, and to survive off you.
“
avoiding the inevitable with words of feelings.
complications arise with problems tossed aside.
drenched with kindness but negative thoughts still occur,
you begin to see through everyone elses eyes.
their thoughts and feelings now coursing through you.
ripping you apart but still you fight to go back.
perfection again the pedestal rises,
standing above the norm in a prison of self doubt.
you begin to change your ways knowing the truth,
promises broken and memories erased.
a new slate to work upon with her in mind.
bending never breaking this time for good.
eyes wide open you truly deeply see,
what one is and everything they stand for.
grasping the truth and holding it tight to your chest,
closest to your heart it will ever be.
feelings begin to overflow spilling out your past,
judgment passes over you finally dispersing.
like a wilting flower,
even now she tries to bloom beautifully.
path set in front of her choices become clear.
constant steps forward lead to two steps back,
getting used to going no where with an end unknown.
words spoken so delicate but tempting all their own,
like flames they burn her every thought.
feelings bursting free as if they were in a recession,
simplicity at its finest gives her a whole new perspective.
sleep always an escape but still tormented by dreams,
deepest darkest secret released in a whirlpool of images.
finally shutting her eyes from herself and reality,
you begin to crave each other like crazy.
wake up to the sunrise to find a new type of hope,
day born by dawn welcomes her presence.
her eyes now see things others cant perceive,
beauty and brains leaving behind an imprint of solidarity.
we dream of hope, we dream of change, of fire, of love, of death, and then it happens, the dream becomes real. and the answer to the quest, this need to solve life’s mysteries finally shows itself, like the glowing light of the new dawn. so much struggle, for meaning, for purpose, but in the end we find it only in each other. our shared experiences of the fantastic, and the mundane. the simple, human need to find the kindred, to connect, and to know in our hearts that we are not alone.
“
